4.04.2011

emerging

the blog comes back to life

Daffodils in Snow #1

The last grant application gets submitted today. The patients have been cared for, the phone consultations provided, the presentations delivered. Hallelujah!

It's not that I don't still have things to do. Just like everyone else, I always have things to do. But I think, finally, that the pace is going to be saner for at least a little while. I'm even planning to take a couple days off at the end of this week.

Each time I finish a very busy period, I have the same two reactions: Profound gratitude. And the conviction that I really must try to prevent such a frenzy from occurring again. I have this vision that if I could just be diligent, disciplined, efficient enough, I could maintain a pace of steady work instead of these crazy ups and downs.

Problem is, I'm finally realizing that the ups and downs are just part of life and only somewhat preventable. I am definitely guilty at times of perfectionist procrastination (or would that be procrastinating perfectionism?), but sometimes factors beyond one's control do take over. Like having four grant deadlines in the space of seven weeks.

Still, I think my response could be better. I'm too prone to letting all healthy routines go to pieces and to not making myself get enough sleep, with predictable decays in my concentration and productivity. Or I get overwhelmed as the perfectionism sets in and waste precious time dithering about what to do next and whether I'll get it all done. I believe building better habits during the calmer times would help with the hectic times. Something to contemplate because there's sure to be a next time.

It feels fitting that as I get back on an even keel, spring is slowly coming to Boston. Spring's arrival is always gradual here, with one step back for every two forward (we had an inch or two of snow last week!), but the days are getting warmer, and the daffodils and tulips are on the verge of blooming. I sense a collective feeling of hopeful expectation.


(snowy daffodil photo by Jessica Leas Photography, on Flickr)

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